Sunday, November 15, 2009

scattered underwear

It's been awhile here. Thank you for still checking in really helps...

I've been moping around about this and that. Mainly: feeling neglected by sisters, being out of touch with cousins, and not being more there for my parents. Well, after a lot of back and forth in my head, it occurred to me that i really need to get a life. I don't have kids yet but i feel like i already know how it is not to be able to let your kids go and live their own lives. It sucks. Well luckily, i do still have my own friends and thank goodness for you guys.

As for studio work, i'm still left with a lot of unfinished pieces that don't seem to be going anywhere. No red red days, you guys :(. I think i need to change my work routine or something. Too much emphasis on having the weekends free to make something that i end up wasting more time scattering about than getting anything done.

My little spoons of joy started not too long ago aren't too happy right now:

I still haven't been able to produce any good prints, even though the copper plates themselves look pretty nice to me:

Sadly realized that i don't really have it in me to be the kind of conceptual artists that i admire. How does one come up with awesome profound ideas? Yesterday, i didn't know where to go with the unfinished works laying around, so i started tearing up some paper. Before i knew it, i had a big bowl and a little bowl of it, and hours had passed.

Instead of getting depressed about how an entire free day passed without accomplishing anything 'substantial', i'm going to start being Okay about spending precious time like this. I like tearing paper. It's also prep work for making the spoons and whatever else later.


  1. Hello - lovely to hear your voice again - sometimes you just have to let go and not worry about your work - I find that I do less and less but I always carry my camera with me to capture things as I travel around and that helps to keep me in touch with a visual world and a creative voice - your photos for this post are very beautiful. I also find evening classes are good for getting you started on projects or finding an exhibition opportunity - to have direction and a goal can make so much difference. Take care - hugs from Mandy xxx

  2. aww...thank you, Mandy! happy to hear from you and get such a heartwarming response too! i think having something you do on a constant/daily basis is what i need to do too. i've been avoiding exhibits but lately wondering if maybe they are worth the time if it would push me to do more. i'm not sure...

  3. yay! ur back!
    good to see you back online :)
    i'm sorry about all the things happening to you but i hope this will brighten up ur days.

    i totally understand about the scheduling...i had all weekend to do stuff but what did i do? make and eat cookies. i have so much to do but don't really wrap my head around it and do it. i don't know how to figure out the best way to motivate myself. i think that's all you gotta do. don't u worry tho, u'll find ur way!!

    with love

  4. It's good to read your post. I will enjoy seeing anything you start to make, any tentative ideas, anything. I'm happy tearing paper also. Mandy said it so well, I'll just say hello Cathy x

  5. It's good to see your work and words again. I find it all quite inspiring.

  6. oh i know where youre coming from. im feeling the same at the moment. a little lost.
    i think just relaxing and not trying to 'find' those profound ideas may be good. i love the photos too.

  7. You've got so much going there, spoons-in-progress, copper plate-in-progress (looks really interesting), and your torn paper is moving you towards something too! It can be hard not to quite know where we're going, I've felt like that myself, but in the end it always takes us somewhere exciting, often just when we're about to give up. Allow yourself searching-time, dreaming-time - it'll happen, and something beautiful and absolutely gorgeously Mien-ish will come.

  8. love that copper photo!

    Red, its too insane to say you can't conceive of something just cause it hasn't come yet... you're full of vision and wonder and greatness.

    the phrase, i don't have kids yet, is the same thing, you're alive and you will conceive, you will you will will.... just let it happen.

    Happy Thanksgiving and a bowl of Turkey Hill ice cream to you... lol.

    so far, a warm winter, eh?

  9. Mieny, and others who left comments,

    This is SO nice to read all of your true feelings because I too feel I've been lacking in motivation. Some days I'm waaay motivated, some I'm not. For me, the way I feel on any given day affects my motivation; if I feel great/energetic/confident, then I'm motivated! If not, blah.

    And about Mandy saying she takes photos, I do remember looking back on the times that I felt like I wasn't doing anything creative due to the lack of motivation, but realize that what I do naturally is creative even if I feel that I'm not deliberately working on a specific project. Maybe this is how all of us feel/live? (I like Marjojo & mansuetude's comments!)

    Also, what you do may not seem so exciting to yourself, but to others, it is inspiring! And that is awesome!

    Big hug!

  10. Perhaps tearing paper can become a practice in itself, a performance piece maybe or the start of new work. I imagine an entire room filled with tiny scraps of paper. Paper on the floor. Paper hugging walls. Paper floating in space like dust motes.

    You are a GOOD artist, I LOVE the things you make.

    We all have these doubts, I know I certainly do. What works for me is just to trust the work. Let the work lead you, it knows where it's going and what it needs. The job of the artist is to show up and to still ourselves long enough to listen to those small quiet voices within.

  11. you simply do not know what an inspiration you are. honest and real. how beatuiful your work is, even in drips and drabs, even in small lovely torn-up piles, even in the state of "undone", your work is beautiful and fragile and special! just like YOU! welcome back, dear artist friend!

  12. Oh Mien...,family,parents,
    I hear you...getting work done, self appreciation, I know...

  13. Lovely work, and yes, you're right we all suffer from these feelings/thoughts at times. And as has been mentioned, having a 'goal' to work toward is so helpful. Recently I have met with some artists/friends to discuss/crit latest work and it has been sooooooooo helpful and inspiring in more ways than I can describe. the work for many of us moved on too in unexpected ways. . . . .

    I think the advice about showing up and listening to the voices is excellent, I'm going to try it as well :)

    Do pop over some time.


  14. Here you are :: you are back!
    Sorry to hear about how much down you seem to feel. But true artist [conceptual or not ;-)] are like this with as many highs than very low lows...
    i totally relate to the <>. It is true that i am not always very talented @ organizing my precious time at the sudio...
    But hang in there ; inspiration will strike again.
    Your bowls look like a good metaphor for what you seem to feel :: a bit in pieces and fragile. But also, just like your very pretty pair of paper bowls :: you too will be plenty again. So get ready to channel some good energy very soon!
    I just read the "Tomten" book to my youngest yesterday and it reminds me something to treasure "winters come and winters go :: soon you will be able to be in your clover fields>>.
    Wishing you a merry lovely day.

  15. just a thought maybe those cut copper plates want to be hammered into spoons repousse style and not plates for printing at all, but little sculptures.
    A wooden hammer into or over a wooden form is a good way to go, but not the only way. I've done passable work hitting with a ballpeen hammer on a wooden stump or heavy block of wood. Seeing as one side is engraved already, maybe only hit the other to minimize damage to the pattern. If it hardens up after a few hits, heat it up cherry red and dunk it in water. That'll soften it to work again.

  16. Aww, so sorry to hear you are having a hard time with family, hope this year will bring creativity energy and reason to just have fun...ideas come from playing right?

  17. Do what you like, sister. That's the best conceptual profoundness there is. Especially since everything you do has a depth of heart that does away with any need for clever conceptualizations and statements and all that linguistic glibbledyglop.

  18. I love your bowls full of paper!
    My suggestion? Volunteer one weekend morning every week...for a hospice service, a park, a church...whatever. In no time, your mind will be full of ideas and you'll have also engaged with the world in a profound way!