a void

Void. thread on paper, 3.5 x 7 cm

Part of the ongoing Little Undies series that I have started back in 2009. Found some new ones that I had forgotten about...

Boyshorts. fabric & thread on paper, 3.7 x 5.5 cm


Sunshine. fabric & thread on paper, 5 x 6.5 cm


Hot Hot. plastic & thread on paper, 6.5 x 10 cm

There is a lot of fumbling around in the studio as I try to pick up where I had left off. It's like trying to piece together different selves from before and now, and the edges are not quite fitting.

These underwear pieces are like little sketches, circling around the theme of being a woman, a girl, something innocent, possibly sexy, naughty, taboo-ish. I think I can jump right in. Only thing is it feels like such an incredible indulgence to be sitting around making these things when there is so much wrong going on in the world.

womb

paper, eggshell pieces, work in progress



Happy new year, everyone! I didn't mean to be away so long...thank you to those who are still checking up on me. You guys are plain awesome :).

Sometimes i wish i had started this blog anonymously so i can feel more free to share whatever is on my mind. There is something i've been wanting the whole world to know but waiting for it to feel more real and to be showing more...I'm going to have a baby, you guys! AND so is my sister!! we are due within a week from one another. what are the chances of that?? Our babies will be like twin cousins. double joy yeah! :)). One of the happiest moments of my life when i found out.

The first three months have passed by sooo slowly. Aside from making it to work during the day, i was pretty much useless the rest of time. Just ate and laid around like a lazy princess, occasionally yelling at John for something or another. heh. poor guy. That's what guys get for not being the one to get pregnant. I don't know how my mom managed to go through all three times with us when she was throwing up constantly. she couldn't even drink water without puking. Man i only threw up once every week or two, and that was bad enough for me to think I am definitely not going through this again...

oh But then my stomach got hard, the nausea went away and i'm feeling this crazy little lump protruding at the lower ab out of nowhere. (Beginning of second trimester.) It was such a creepy feeling. like some alien thing inside me. Doctor said it was baby's leg or foot. It's strange but i found myself falling in love with that leg thing.

And now the days and weeks are going by way too fast. I can barely believe that it's only 3 more months to go! I'm so annoyed i didn't get a chance to take a picture of my belly a few weeks ago when it was like a little watermelon. Now it is a lot rounder and not as cute anymore.

Back in college, one of the themes i was kind of obsessed in exploring was the pregnant body. Made some prints and sculptures of it. But now that i'm actually in this body, i have barely documented anything of it. Hopefully, in the next couple of months, i'll have something more to show...

wounded

It's not really as fleshy and creepy-looking as above. More like this here:




scar, wounded series, wax, string, paper & wire, 13 x 2.8 cm

I made it last week. It's a new addition to the spoon series i thought i was done with last November:



It feels like i have only touched on the surface of what i want to explore. There should be hundreds more.

eggshell spoons

paper, wire, eggshells, works in progress



Something i've been working on these past couple of weeks.



i want to make wings out of you.



John thinks these look like sperms.



Thinking of breath, letting go, keeping steady.

seeds and lace

happy new year! rabbit rabbit.

happy mess

Gosh where to begin...much has happened these past few months. My little uncle's baby was just born a couple of weeks ago. She is the sweetest thing, so tiny and precious in my arms. She also got these oddly long but very cute finger toes. I can't wait to see you again, little Tienna!

What else? Ba is not grumpy with me anymore, happy that John is officially family now. The other day Ting and Francis bonded over being the black sheep of the family. Ma and me able to talk things out no matter what. Sadly, not always the case with some friends though...

But oh yay! i got to meet Marjojo (Marion Michell) for the very first time in person when John and i took a trip to London this past September. So lucky in this lifetime i can get to know and be friends with my favorite artist in the world. Speaking of world, I want the whole world to know that Tate Modern Museum following our visit to Marion Michell's studio was such a disappointment. There was nothing i could remember that was remotely comparable to Marjojo's work. Seriously.

Coming back from the experience in London, i feel transformed, aware of myself changing and growing as a person, and in particularly as an artist. It's a feeling that makes you breathe deeper, stand taller, and unafraid to seek what you want. Thank you, David & Erica, for being there so we could make this trip.


Some studio updates: completed a new series of spoons, making progress with a couple of paintings, still wrapping those broken pieces of eggshell, and dipping all sorts of things in hot beeswax.

I am really loving how the dried fruits and leaves turned out after being covered in waxed. They seemed better protected now from the elements of decaying without being changed too much at all.


art art art

unbroken

wrapped eggshells




above: my two favorites so far



I am so enjoying wrapping these. I think the pictures do not do them justice. You have to hold them in your hands and see. I showed one of two attached together to May and she just said they look like balls. John didn't get how awesome they are either. oh well. i appreciate you, dear eggyeggs.

These past couple of months had been really slow in studio. blah blah days. Some heartache here and there too but nothing a good heart-to-heart cry can't soothe. Oh and i am learning to garden! A day out in the yard with my parents beats all the horticulture lectures i was taking. So happy to see that the tomato plants my dad brought over are thriving. They were so wilty-looking when i first planted them. I didn't think they were going to make it but next day i checked they perked up like the sunshine :).

Not too long ago, i dreamt of K again. It was so good to see him, even if it is just in dreams.

My worktable right now is scattered with broken halves and pieces of eggshells. i sure eat a lot of eggs. I'm so excited. So many possibilities to make them whole again! Finally, ideas are brimming...

i like my bad haircut

acrylic and pencil in sketchbook, 10" x 7.5"

John tells me to stop cutting my own hair. Is it really that bad? looks pretty cute to me. I think i am a pro. it's just a little strange that except for one other person, nobody else seemed to have noticed. hmm.

So anyways, the other day, it occurred to me that i could be whatever i wanted to be. like if i wanted to be a doctor, i can go ahead and really do it. It's all just a matter of time and training. I don't know why it was such a revelation but i seriously believed it like i never knew before.

Lately, i've been approaching every little task with the Chinese proverb of moving mountains, one stone at a time in mind. The dishes, the scattered tools, the laundry, tiny bits of styrofoam - picking them all up nice and easy. Not sure where all this is going.

Studio update: a big mess, a drawing here and there, torn prints everywhere, crocheting more bowls to be felted, thorns waiting, spoons cold and neglected...

felted

some ups and downs. spending vday and lunar new year alone right now. the studio feels empty and abandoned. tomorrow we will go home and be with family. i'll start again and see where this takes me...

scattered underwear

It's been awhile here. Thank you for still checking in here...it really helps...

I've been moping around about this and that. Mainly: feeling neglected by sisters, being out of touch with cousins, and not being more there for my parents. Well, after a lot of back and forth in my head, it occurred to me that i really need to get a life. I don't have kids yet but i feel like i already know how it is not to be able to let your kids go and live their own lives. It sucks. Well luckily, i do still have my own friends and thank goodness for you guys. ♡

As for studio work, i'm still left with a lot of unfinished pieces that don't seem to be going anywhere. No red red days, you guys :(. I think i need to change my work routine or something. Too much emphasis on having the weekends free to make something that i end up wasting more time scattering about than getting anything done.

My little spoons of joy started not too long ago aren't too happy right now:



I still haven't been able to produce any good prints, even though the copper plates themselves look pretty nice to me:



Sadly realized that i don't really have it in me to be the kind of conceptual artists that i admire. How does one come up with awesome profound ideas? Yesterday, i didn't know where to go with the unfinished works laying around, so i started tearing up some paper. Before i knew it, i had a big bowl and a little bowl of it, and hours had passed.



Instead of getting depressed about how an entire free day passed without accomplishing anything 'substantial', i'm going to start being Okay about spending precious time like this. I like tearing paper. It's also prep work for making the spoons and whatever else later.

i miss you studio

i used to wake up to this every morning at our old apartment

It's strange to be in such a prettier place now yet still be missing some misshapen things from before. :/. This was the living room turned into my studio:





Note: wig collection hung on wall (i didn't make them) inspired by Marjojo's My Mother Has Golden Hair

and you guys remember my awesome shelves built from just bricks and wooden planks?




unfinished bits and pieces on worktable

These photos were taken by John, a few days before moving out of there to our new house. Still in the midst of unpacking and getting the studio space set up...

beginnings of an offering

undies

sewn on paper, not bigger than my palm, works in progress

holding them to the light: