So before i made my paper leaf dropping last week, i had been beating myself up for not sketching as regularly as i used to.
Years ago, i would sketch almost everyday, going through maybe 3-5 sketchbooks a year. Drawing/collaging while watching tv, talking on the phone, riding on the bus, blah blah blah.
Today i still have the one sketchbook started in 2003 and it is still barely filled. Mostly just skimpy [half-assed] drawings in there that i forced myself to do. It nagged at me all the time since i was pretty stuck on thinking i got to draw everyday because that is what all artists *should* do. But i just had no desire (or not enough discipline) to dwell into those blank empty pages.
Instead, i found myself mindlessly wrapping the dried gourds. Just wanting to cover up the raw dirty-looking surface and make it like new again, not really caring where i was going with them.
While wrapping one of them, i noticed some scrap wire pieces lying around. So i grabbed those and started twisting them into loops for more wrapping to do. What came out were those paper wings and this guy here:
Japanese mulberry paper over wire and clay, about 5.5" across*
I don't know why it took me so long to realize that i've been sketching all along. If i knew i were, i would be making so many more of these in the last couple of years! I didn't know where the heck they were going so i couldn't allow myself to spend too much time on them and of course, no wasting of those precious Japanese papers! nooo, gotta be painting and making masterpieces all the tiiime!
It's
Bend, Mind, bend. Bend and twist like your paper wire sketches...
*Please note that this little guy has a little genitalia. Either that or that thing that hangs in the back of the throat.
(Ma, don't be embarrassed to look. Click for larger image.)
hahA about the hangy-ball thingy
ReplyDeleteAnd... I completely feel the same way you do! about how you beat yourself up for not doing something as often as you feel you should [to hold the title], but through other people, or after some time goes by, you see that in fact you still are doing things related to what you want to do! It feels really good to know that someone else, esp. you, Mieny, goes through the same thing! We're not alone.
<3 ~Grace
i forgot to add that I like it, the lil guy w/the "thing"
ReplyDeleteI think the hardest thing is staying true to yourself, it's always there at the back of your mind 'I should be doing this or this' and it's often not til later, like you say, you realise that what you've been doing all along is what you want to do! Sounds so simple doesn't it! Good to know others feel this way too, your sketches are beautiful by the way :)
ReplyDeleteyes, I love how the mind works, and seems to be consisntent even when we're not conscious of it. I can see how wrapping the wires is much like doodling when you describe your process like that.
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling that the more we let our minds wander freely without any plans, the more pleasantly surprised we get, and in the end see how it all ties together - how there's continuity in what we do.
thank you all for sharing this connection. :).
ReplyDeleteoh Grace, right from the beginning, just having your friendship, i already felt less alone... :].
i'm glad you're not beating yourself up anymore either because you, for one, are one of the most creative and resourceful people i know! sure don't know many people who can belly dance, sew, sing, paint, knit, crochet and save a fallen girl from a tree all at once. ;).
Sarah, so true what you say. i think it is also about trusting yourself. i've been going through your blog and that is something i admire very much of you--that genuineness and self-trust from how you present your work and observations...moment by moment, taking the time to let us savor the small details as you do...
Anne-Laure, i guess it is that trust that i sometimes lack for the mind to wander freely...
but i like what you say about the continuity in what we do...i will put my faith in that. :).
(i am so enjoying our 'conversations' and can't wait to see more of your boxes!)
one should not have shoulds when it comes to making art.
ReplyDelete^_^ I'm loving all the comments for this day! Thank you all for sharing your feelings. And thank u Mieny for making me feel special! (Btw, I miss the almost daily emails.)
ReplyDeleteyes, no shoulds. need to get them out of my big spacey head.
ReplyDeleteOh! This little guy is gorgeous. Love the little bits.
ReplyDelete